


Confuso-Ray part 1

by MagikalWordHerald



Series: Confuso-Ray [1]
Category: Kim Possible (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Multi, Slow Burn KiGo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:09:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3486005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagikalWordHerald/pseuds/MagikalWordHerald
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A made up episode after fictional episodes of a mini adventure where Kim Possible literally cant think straight.... (pun intended) (is there even a pun?) <br/>Divergent Alternate universe, where things that happened in the show didn’t happen here...(this just sounds smater)<br/>Also super slow burning KiGo... like sssllllllllooooooooowwwwwwwwww.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own kim possible or the characters
> 
> *Work has been edited as i did not complete it correctly the first time around. thanks for watching* *oh hey..its still not one hundred percent...urgh and my phone refuses' my editing.*
> 
> *NOTES!  
> Edited to almost perfection, which is to say I cant see anything wrong... which means someone else will but hey... its cool.

“Are you… Insane!”  
“What? No! I’m not insane; I’m perfectly sound of mind.” Kimberly Anne Possible lifted the binoculars back up to her eyes and adjusted the focus. “Well, kind of… I think.” She shrugged as Ron Stoppable skewed his eyes at her.  
“I knew you shouldn’t have been let back onto missions again so soon after the confusion-o-ray hit you.”  
“Pfft such a stupid name for a ray gun, Ron-o-ray, but hey don’t worry Ron, it’s no big Ron. So not the Drama Ron.”  
“You just said my name, like four times and did you just call the confusion-o-ray the Ron-o-ray? I think you need to go ho-”  
“Shhhhush! I see Shego! She’s on the roof using her green to get in.”  
“OMG, we’re going to die today. Please let’s just leave now Kim, I don’t think Wade was thinking to clearly when he let you back in the field. Please!”

“Ron.” Kim stood up, placed the binoculars into his pleading hands and squared her shoulders. “My wordy skills are mixed up and maybe I am a little jumbled in the brain when I need to, you know remember names of things, but my field test was totally ace, I even beat my old record for dummy punching and disarming the boom-boom sticks.”  
“The boom-boom sticks? You mean guns?”  
“Rufus gets it, don’t you Tofu?” Kim looked at the hairless rodent for agreement, who for once seemed to hold no faith in the mighty Kim Possible that stood before them.   
He shook his head violently and pointed away from Shego and Kims’ spur of the moment plan, mimicking Ron the best he could for them to go home.  
“See even Rufus thinks this is a bad idea and he’s braver than me.”  
“Urgh whatever Stoppable, I’m going.” Kim pulled out her new-snap-on-pull-back-action-wrist watch and fired a thin steel cord across the divide, cleanly hooking it onto a menacing looking gargoyle.

“Look, so far so good.” With that the steel cord on their side dug into the edge of the building they now occupied, Allowing Kim to leap off the side, hook onto the cord with some gizmo she couldn’t remember the name of and zipped effortlessly across.  
“Kim! Kim!” Ron stood motionless for a few seconds as he watched Kim face danger head on once again. “Great, I wanted to eat tacos tonight, but no, there had to be a Shego, some danger and a craze Kim.” Kim reached the other side successfully. “Let’s go Rufus. Don’t want her to get into any more trouble now do we.”   
Kim slunk carefully in the shadows cast by the overly large air vents, with years of practised eyes and ears checking for any hidden armed men or traps. She came to the conclusion Shego was on a solo mission tonight as there were none of these things.

The emergency door had been spotlessly cut in all the right places, and the faintest glow of green made Kim smile. She’d been itching to get back into the action for weeks now and had gone above and beyond in order to prove herself ready, and aside from the occasional laps in correct wording she’d been doing great, except for every so often when she’d smack herself in the face when trying to throw a punch or tripped when walking. But she’d gotten the hang of controlling her limbs and she could now tell if something was going to go wrong, so she’d managed to get past all the tests without anyone noticing her blunders.

Maybe she should’ve said something, maybe she shouldn’t have taken up missions again and maybe Ron was right. But she couldn’t handle being cooped up at home any longer, she felt like she was being driven slowly insane by her family, Ron and tacos. So when she had past her test and still had to wait to see action due to lack of criminal activity, she was thrilled and could’ve hugged the green bandit for interrupting another dreary evening.  
She noticed movement out of the corner of her eye, Ron was making his way across at a less than snail pace across the zip line, she considered waiting for him but decided against it and slipped inside a little less gracefully than typical. The stairs were barely lit as she sped tiptoed down, stopping to look for where Shego may have gone, three floors down she noticed one emergency door propped open on it hinges, the alarm dismantled. It seems Shego was taking her time on this heist.

The passage way on the eighteenth floor was marbled and recently cleaned, and aside from a few obscure signs marking a door way or two, there was little to tell Kim what exactly was about to be stolen. About the tenth door down, which was open, she noticed a familiar green and black silhouette standing over a hugely cluttered desk, typing away at a keyboard, she gave no signs that she had heard Kim enter. Kim stood for a moment eyeing this evil villain; silently thanking her in her mind like a prayer, she softly cleared her throat. Shego jumped slightly but not too much, then spun around and smiled her smile, the kind only Shego could pull off.  
“Why hello there Princess, fancy meeting you here but, I thought you were taking some me time, or was I mistaken?”  
“I took as much me-self time as I can mutter.” Shego raised her eyebrows at Kims’ remark.  
“Riiight, ok? Is that bozo the clown and fearless rat friend with you or are you solo tonight?”  
Right on cue, as if staged, Ron ran past the door way, paused then backwards jogged and stopped out of breath in the threshold.  
“Hey KP…. I see… you…. Found… her….” he pointed loosely at Shego. He then bent forward and began inhaling loudly.  
“Uh… yes. Tom Moppable is here.” Kim paused and thought about her sentence then shrugged believing it was close enough.  
“Moppable? I like that makes me think of a sad janitor always making a mess instead of cleaning it up.” Shego stretched her black gloved hands to the side and ignited her green flames. “Hope you’re ready Kimmie, I’m about to whip that vacation time out of you.”

“I can’t wait!” Kim hunkered down in preparation, forcing Ron to step back out into the passage way. “Bring it Shingles….”  
Shego raised her eyebrows. “Trash talking so early? How nice.” With that the green and black clad woman launched forward, tumbling into Kim and bringing her into the passage way, where Ron seemed to be finding a safe place to hide.

Kim rolled and stood up, redefined her stance and swept forward to begin their fight in earnest. Blows where exchanged as Kim grinned from ear to ear, happy to be doing something she loved with someone who seemed to love it just as much. Shego to, found herself smiling happily as she missed a feint and got hit in the chest by one of Kimmies better moves. The two women danced with pleasure as they each landed a blow upon the other. After a few minutes they separated for the traditional breath catcher and or insult swapping segment of their routine.  
“I really missed you Shego… I mean this… I missed Shego… this…. Dammit.” Kim stumbled over her words again much to Shegos’ bemusement and Rons annoyance and belief tonight would end in disaster.  
“That’s sweet princess, I missed you too.” Shego winked and Kim blushed.  
“Shut left, I mean up, shut up.” Kim grimaced at her inability to be witty and threw herself once again into the fight. Feints, punches, kicks, plasma blasts and back flips flooded the tiled floor, pushing Ron further and further back in order not to get in their way. Unfortunately it wasn’t Ron that had to be careful, but Kim, who besides her best efforts to keep control of her limbs, felt the familiar numbness spread from the tip of her toes upwards at an alarming rate and as luck would have it, just as Shego threw a plasma punch towards her.

Kim fell forward and connected with Shego’s fist. The burning sensation on Kims face lasted for a split second before Shego turned from aggressor to saviour.  
Kind of.   
She stepped in, pulled her fist back and caught her in an awkward flip around move that could have been mistaken as a last twist in an actual Tango dance.  
Shego held on for a second too long for comfort as Kim blushed profusely then was dropped with a thud on to her posterior.  
“Well….” A beep was heard from Shegos’ wrist watch. “That was fun, but its time I left seeing as my jobs done.” She winked again at the flustered Kim and ran back the way she came.  
“You ok KP?”  
“Shut up Tom.” Kim watched the green clad woman disappear knowing full well her chance to catch her was gone.  
“Yeah ok we’re going back to headquarters and you’re going to get a full medical again, KP. And I don’t care if you hate me.”


	2. Confuso-Ray part Nacho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ron has a decent idea. Kims depressed and terrible with her communication skills. Eventual kigo promises. Humorous words... You know the drill.

Kim sat awkwardly on the edge of the metallic examination table, attempting to swing her legs casually and appear relaxed. Fifteen large sighs and exasperated exclamations later an older gentleman, in a white lab coat and familiar GJ emblem stitched neatly onto the front pocket, approached her with a clipboard.  
"So, Kimberley,"  
Kim sighed again and rolled her eyes when her name was mentioned, "we ran through your test results and compared them to last weeks results and, I'm afraid to say that you failed this time around."  
"Wait...what? But how’s that possible? I aced my entire medical and physical test last week. I ones it... I mean aced it!" She swore inwardly at her slip up. The older gentleman frowned slightly and made a note. 

"It seems that the rays effects where designed to aggravate during heightened emotional states. So every time you become emotionally charged you become less capable of performing basic tasks or in your case unable to perform exceptional tasks." The doctor paused looked at Kim then scribbled a few more notes down.  
"But... I passed... I... I... Not get you mean quack...urgh... I don't... Understand... How..." The last few words were hissed through gritted teeth and with much concentration.  
The man clicked the back of his pen and placed it in his pocket.   
"I noticed on your file that you failed approximately five times before you passed, my ultimate conclusion to this is, you became familiar with the test and therefore were easily able to pass. You were not in any form of aggravation, you were calm and in charge of your emotions. Unfortunately in real world situations you would be unable to control something that is somewhat highly necessary in your line of work. And as for the medical side of it, it was something easily overlooked unless we were looking for it. Simple."

Kims eyes were narrowed.   
"Simple... Simple... Is... Not... Having to concentrate orange juice every time I open my mouth or leaper into limbo sauce spaghetti..." The red head rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "You know... What I mean." She deepened her frown and closed her eyes. "How.. Would... I... Stop..." She gestured to herself. "This." The medical examination room hummed quietly as Kim sat impatiently waiting for a decent response.  
"Well, it could be treated like any impediment especially for the speech side of things. But as for the physical side effects of the ray...perhaps surgery could be an option." Kims eyebrows could've easily entangled themselves into the lights that hung above her head. "Though I doubt what effects it would have. The best option would be getting hold of the device that caused this in the first place. Then a simple reversal should do the trick."   
Her hand slapped her forehead both intentionally and unintentionally. 

"We blew it up."   
The doctors lips thinned in thought. "Perhaps we can explore other options then. Until then I cannot actively permit you to continue with any of your missions. I'll inform the Director to place teams in your stead." He made to leave but stopped. "Don't worry Kimberley. We'll figure it out. We are after all the best division in the world."

******

"I'm going to be like this for the rest of my leopards." Kim sat opposite Ron as he shovelled a cheesy Naco into his mouth. Kims own paper plate with her less cheesy tacos sat uneaten as she stared into space. A gulp and a half later, Ron leaned over, patted Kims' hand and said something inaudible because he had shovelled her food into his own mouth. Rufus who was equally engrossed in eating saw this and frowned at Ron.   
"For the rest of my life... I'm going to be like this. Sometimes making sense, then not making kitchen."  
Ron frowned, finally able to see that his best bud was far more troubled than he had thought. 

"KP. Don't worry. Global Justice has an ace medical team, I'm sure they'll find something. And hey, now you get to have a sweet vacation from save the world duties. You could do more cheerleading stuff and get even better grades, seeing as it’s like the last two months till we graduate." Ron smiled earnestly believing his words to be comforting.  
"Oh my god." Her head hit the table. "I forgot about school." Rufus smacked Ron and tutted.   
"What? We’ve still got a few vacation days left."   
"Just kill me now please."   
"Oh come on Kim. It’s not that bad." Kim lifted her head slightly, enough to fix Ron with a death stare.  
"Okay fine, it’s a little bad."  
Kim groaned loudly and hit her head on the table again.  
"Well... What if..." Ron stared up at the lights of Bueno Nacho, eyebrows wiggling furiously willing an idea to help his friend to appear. He's eyes wondered to the menu where they lingered. Seven words jumped out at him. "That's it KP!" He jumped up excitedly pointing at the sign. Kim groaned again but slowly turned to look at what her sidekick was pointing at. She frowned as she read it out loud.  
"Build your own Nacho Bar coming soon... Ron..." She sighed and slumped down, this time her cheeks made a soft plop noise on the table.

"Not the Nacho bar part.... The build your own part... Although I would like to build my own nacho. I'd make it huge. And cheesy with- no wait." He stopped and looked down at the depressed red head. "We build Drakkens' machine ourselves!"   
Kim sighed, then frowned then proceeded to sit up slowly. "Tom Moppable! You're a tissue!"  
Ron smiled... Then frowned pondering what Kim had actually meant.

*****

Exactly one hour later both Kim and Ron found themselves staring at the Kimmunicator.   
"So what’d you think Wade? Is it do-able?" The young boy on the other side of the screen thought for a few minutes then smiled.   
"I think it’s possible. Very possible. Are you sure this was your idea Ron?"   
"Hey!"   
"I'm joking, I'm joking! It is a great idea Ron." Ron beamed at the praise from the boy genius on the opposite side of the screen.  
"The only problem we have is locating the schematics of Dr Drakkens original plan for the confuso-ray. Which means I'll have to locate he's most recent whereabouts." Wade typed with flourish as he spoke. 

"You guys mention this to GJ yet?"  
"Uh nope. Not yet..." Ron looked at Kim expectantly.  
"Look Wade, Kim kind of wants this to... You know... remain on the down low."  
Wade looked up at them. "You sure that's a good idea KP? I read your file now and well.... Handling this on your own might not go as smoothly as you want it to."  
"Wade... No offence to Global Justice, but me on my worst day can out match them on their best chicken." Ron held back a giggle at her slip up which earned him a swift elbow to the ribs. "And besides they'll take forever to track Drakken. You on the other hand should be able to find him in no time."   
Wade grinned and accepted Kims reasoning.   
"Okay well," he hit a few keys then continued, "I could link up to GJ satellites but that might alert them so... We'll go for the next best thing. Shego."   
Kim frowned. "Yeah she'd be able to take us to him but aside from our earlier run in..." Wade grimaced and so did Ron. Rufus on the other hand decided to disappear completely. "What?"  
Wade gulped as he explained.  
"I've kind of been tracking her movements over the past few weeks for the GJ whilst you were out of commission."

Kim bristled.  
"You mean to tell eye ball that she has been offending the Grinch longer than you've told me she has." Wade nodded. "And Tom new this too?"   
Ron had slipped from her side and hid behind the couch.   
"So why did the gauche kingdom let me go out then?"   
Wade sighed.  
"They didn't stand a chance against her all the previous times so they thought they'd send you out and hope for the best."  
A small growl followed by more bristling escaped her lips.   
"So the drama Wafer!"  
She heard Ron snicker. "Both you boys are so bust after my blimp is fixed." 

Even an incorrectly stated threat was more than enough to frighten both. A soft beep could be heard in the background of Wades work space, elevating the vast amount of tension running on both sides of the screen.   
"Speak of the Devil. It's Shego." He frowned at other screen as Ron timidly rejoined Kim.  
"Sorry KP."  
"Its fine I guess. Just... You know... Don't do that again."  
A bleep from the screen refocused their attention.  
"Okay. We have exactly thirty minutes before the signal reaches GJ headquarters and alerts them on Shegos whereabouts." 

"That's not exactly a lot of time Wade, we don’t have a plain or any think."  
"This is the best I could do on such short notice, the planning’s gonna have to be on the fly. I set up a direct link to them for anything pertaining to her. So I'm actually blocking my own signal which I made sure was foolproof by-"  
"Twenty nine minutes."   
"Right. I'm sending you the address and calling in a favour for you escape. Done. Luckily its exactly fifteen minutes from your location, if you use the rocket skates."   
Kim looked at Ron then Wade. She smiled.  
"Ready for a half assed plan and possibly some dangerous stunts?"  
Both boys eagerly returned her smile. 

"Anything's possible for a Possible."


	3. Chapter 3

Shego lit her index finger and careful trailed it across the PC tower. Yes she could have unscrewed it. Yes she could've used tools but why the heck should she if her green glow could do the work in half the time. She smiled.   
Besides, half the time meant less time for GJ to make their lame attempts at capturing her. She didn't particularly feel like their style of interference tonight. The metal slid down suddenly interrupting her musings, she peered inside noted that there were more than two hard drives in the casing and made a mental note to bring a larger bag if Drakken couldn't be more specific on which drive he wanted. She hated lugging things around. Unplugging the drives swiftly, she placed them carefully on the clean desk. 

Five drives in total and a tiny satchel made for two at the most. She rolled her eyes then scanned the room for something larger. A plastic bag lay half crumpled in the waste basket, she rolled her eyes again as she picked it up. It smelled of take-out. Greasy take-out. She sneered at it then flicked it open and placed the drives inside. If they got oily and gross it wasn't her problem.   
Just then a clambering could be heard from above her head. She looked up frowned and took three steps back just to be safe as Ron Stoppable made his usual spectacular mess of an entrance. Butt in the air revealing heart patterned boxers.   
"I love a good peep show as much as the next gal Stoppable. But really now, show some tact once in awhile." Shego smiled at her own wit then peered up looking for the red headed wonder. Who was not there.

She frowned and looked back at Ron who now sat on his offending boxers.  
"You on your own now? Stepping up to big leagues as they say or is this some sort of dis-" To late did she hear the familiar whizz of a gadget as she twirled around and saw Kim standing in the doorway.   
The net, which resembled a fisherman trawler net landed politely atop of the green and black clad woman.  
She sighed. "Oh no... You got me..." As she lifted her arms and ignited her green glow and evaporated every inch of the offending net. "Seriously cupcake. Do you ever-" a sharp sting hit her arm. "learn?" She finished and looked down. A dart protruded out, its contents already working there way through her body. "Heh... Good one." Shego fell forward her world instantly becoming a black haze of silence.

"Oh my holy Naco." Ron stared down at the tranquilizer gun in his hand. "We got Shego KP." Ron made a loud whoop of joy then shushed himself.   
Kim to was flabbergast that the half worked out plan actually worked.   
"Uh...yeah." She quickly snapped herself out of the surprised trance and brought out her kimmunicator.  
"Wade. We got her."  
"Whoa." Was all the young boy could manage. He shook his head equally as surprised as his comrades. "Anyway, you have ten minutes to get to the parking lot at the back of the building. You better hurry."   
Kim nodded and placed the device back. "Ok Ron. Lets grab her and get lotus."   
"You mean we have to touch her?"  
Kim squinted at him.  
"Duh."  
"Right. Sorry." 

Both Kim and Ron cautiously approached the black haired thief, who by now puffed away pleasantly in dream land.   
"You take left." Kim bent down to grab the right limb, swinging it over her shoulder and carefully looped her own arm around her waist. Ron followed suit and soon they found themselves loping awkwardly down the passage way, down the stairs where Ron dropped his side forcing both Kim and unconscious raven head to tumble comically to the floor.  
"RONALD!"  
"Ooo...uh...sorry?" They resumed their pace once he had placed himself back and quickly ushered themselves through the back doors and into the parking lot. 

A soft beep was heard from Shegos' watch.   
"What's that!" Ron jumped almost dropping his side again.  
"It's just a hose pipe Tom! Now calm round!"  
"You calm round KP!" He looked at Kim with saucers for eyes. "Sorry. I just feel jumpy."  
"It's fine. Put her down." They placed her down and looked around the empty and rather dark parking lot. Kim fumbled for the kimmunicator. "Wade. We're outside. Where’s our elevators?"   
"Joe should be there any second."  
"Joe who?"  
"Joe Jordan. The guy you helped with the music incident."  
Kim frowned. "Music?"  
"Yeah Motor Ed was stealing his bands instruments and motorising them to run on nothing but sound?"  
"Oh... Yeah... That was kind of ingenious of Ed."

Both Ron and Wade nodded.  
"Didn't he get some award or something?"  
"Honourable mention in Villain monthly. Mostly cause he surprised them."  
"Yeah. If it wasn't used for nefarious reasons I think I would have given him an award." Ron smiled. Then frowned. Then whimpered. "How long did you say the tranquilizer would work Wade?"  
"Oh about two hours. Why?" Kim looked at Ron who was now staring at the cat suit clad woman on the floor. A groan could be heard and a slight shuffle.  
"Wade.... Does Joe have restraints or something that could withstand Shegos unnatural green glow worm?"   
Wades eyebrows furrowed then shot up.  
"...oh... Crap."   
"Here!" Kim tossed the kimmunicator at Ron who fumbled but caught it well enough. She bent down and stuck both arms behind Shegos back, pulled out the steel cabling of her new watch and wrapped it around the womans' well defined arms as best she could.   
"I'm going to have to stay beside her until we get to where ever Drakken is hiding."  
"Are you sure KP?"  
"Do you want too?"

Rons arms went up and Rufus popped his head out of the shirt pocket and shook it vigorously.  
" No thank you. All yours."  
A loud hiss and lowering of gears brought their attention up. A buss with five highly decorated skulls and epic flame detailing pulled into the lot.   
"Cool."  
"Rides here... I Dutchman."  
"Huh?"  
"Urgh. Just get ready to ghost buster."   
"What."  
"Shut up."

****

"Wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round. Round and round. Wheels on the bus go round and round, all day long. Babies on the bus go wah wah wah. Wah wah wah. Wah wah wah... I'd do the actions too but I'm tied up right now...wah wah wah. All day long!" 

Kim gritted her teeth and glared outwards. They'd only been seated on super fancy tour bus for a little less than two hours, heading to a hideout goodness knows how far away and Kim already, desperately, wanted to pulverize the raven head seated beside her.  
"Mommy's on the bus go shh shh shh, shh shh sh-"  
"SHIT THE FRAK SIDEWAYS YOU OBLONG PIE PIECE OF PAPER WORK!" 

Ron looked back from the front seat.   
Joe the driver and bassist/lead singer of Five Ways to Sunday, glanced back quickly as well, but decided that the road was a better target for his eyes.  
"Hey KP? Uhh... You need something?"  
Kim looked at Ron then the smirking Shego and sighed. Then an idea formed.  
"How about your sock."  
"What now?”  
"I could shove it in her mouth, then tape it shut."  
"Oh. Umm yeah sure I guess." Ron bent down and with some help from his naked mole rat quickly began to untie his shoe laces.

Shego who had been reasonably smug and content to annoy Kim until now, looked understandably frightened.  
"Whoa. Whoa. Hey... No no no. That's not right. No. No no no. That’s just evil. No." Shego vigorously shook her head, then gave Kim a pleading look.  
Ron had begun to take off his sock when Kim called for his attention.  
"Leave it for now. If she starts up again then we can call sock reinforces."   
Shego stared ferociously from Kim to Ron then back to Kim.  
"Hmph. Not that I don't find your new tactic fun and an exhilarating change of pace pumpkin, but I have bills to pay and appointments to keep. So could we you know... Wrap this up."

Ron perked up from struggling to reintroduce his foot to shoe.   
"Hey yeah ask her now. Maybe she'll be more willing to help than we thought, KP."   
Kim let out a long sigh, her inner self impatient at the need for a cure but hesitant to speak as she knew she would most likely make an ass of her words. She shuffled adjusting the metal ties that bound Shego to her.  
"Cat got your tongue Red?" Shego gave her a sly knowing smile.  
"Zip your tits Shingles."  
Shego let out a muffled snort laugh as the inappropriate sentence made Kim blush like a tomato.  
"Kinky Princess, I never thought you where into the whole tits n zipper thing. I'm assuming there's leather involved mostly black and shiny. Maybe whips?" Her smile broadened into that vixen manner she managed so well. Kim felt the blushing envelope her entire body. "I mean your eighteen now right? It’s all legal and downhill from there. Well in most places anyway." Her grin, if in any other circumstances, would be infectious if not for the red face of the fuming red head beside her.

Kim hissed through her teeth and stared out of the window noticing for the first time they were no longer in the familiar surroundings of Middletons’ outskirts.  
"KP?"  
Kim looked at Ron.  
"Do you want me to ask?" She gave him a glare and shifted her gaze back out the window. Ron took that as the go ahead.  
"So. Umm Shego. Where's Drakkens latest lair?"  
"What?"  
"Where is Dr Drakken hiding right now?"  
"Wait, you... You kim-napped me to find out where Dr D is? I feel insulted." Kim pulled at the restraints at the use of her name.  
"Yes so where is he?"  
Shego thought for a short time and replied. "Not here dweb face."

"Yeah I know that... Green... green... Uh... Shego! So where is he?"  
"Uranus."  
"Ok fine where is his lab?"  
"Which one?"  
"The one he is in now."  
"Yes."  
"What?"  
"You asked if he's in a lab, so I told you yes he is."  
"No I didn't."  
"Okay."  
"WHERE IS HE!"  
"Who?"

Ron slumped down and Kim slapped her forehead.  
"You know Ron. As multi talented as you are, maybe you should leave the interrogation tactics to the professionals. Like that naked mouse thing in your pocket, he seems to know what's up."  
"KP... Couldn't we just take her to GJ headquarters and get them to do this?"  
"Hey wait you're not taking me there? I thought you were?"  
Kim by now very tired of Ron, Shego and keeping quiet decided to do her best even if it meant talking at her less than usual pace. 

"Ron... You... Know very...well...that Shego would...be in...their custody...for less time... Than it would...take you...to eat through the... Bueno Nacho menu... And they... Wouldn't get the answers they were looking fish...urgh." This entire situation was beyond befuddling her emotions and, well it was making her even angrier every second.   
Shego frowned.  
"What's up with cupcakes weird ass potty mouth?"   
"Confuso-ray." Ron helpfully supplied, much to Kims annoyance.  
“Ron!”   
" Still? Ha!” Shego gave a hearty laugh. “Damn, Dr D will be thrilled to hear its’ worked so good- oh..... Oh I get it now. You wanna fix Kimmie cakes. And the docs ray is the best solution." She grinned wickedly once more. "To bad you blew it up... Along with the blue prints."


	4. Chapter four: Not the worst thing ever but close.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wades prepared for anything.

“Don’t you have like spare blueprints or something?” Ron moved closer to the conjoined duo. “Like you know backup backups?”  
“As grand as Drakken is at recycling ideas, he isn’t the most organised at the best of times. So, you know, you win some and you lose some.” Shego pointedly looked at Kim as she spoke. “Sometimes you lose and win. Like now pumpkin, I may be tied up but you’re screwed.” She snorted her amusement. “Oh god this day just got so much better. Thank you.”

Ron looked from Shego to Kim, noticing new tones of worry plastered on her face. Internally, Kim was discovering new words to describe how much she disliked Shego, she might have been slightly overwhelmed, actually very overwhelmed, heck she was freaking the fuck out and her body was doing that stupid tingle numbness and… Oh crap, she was moving slowly sideways, away from the window, without her consent. Down and down, till her head landed in Shegos’ lap, her body as floppy as overdone spaghetti.   
“Oh hey Princess, didn’t know we’re that close.” Shegos body racked with laughter ending Kims’ semi comfortable positioning. Her body slid neatly between the seat in front of her and Shegos legs, pinning her there with a glorious view of the floor. 

“Oh crap! KP you okay!” Ron bent down to Kims level, all the while Shego had not stopped laughing.  
“Oh… ahaha…. God… can’t breath… ahahahahah….BEST. DAY. EVER. Hahahahaah!”  
“KP!!” Ron poked Kim on the back of the head. “KP? You okay?”   
Kim, although internally screaming her frustration, couldn’t move. This had to be the worst thing ever. Luckily the floor was clean, she could breath and the legs by her arm were nice and toasty. Still, it was up there for worst thing ever to occur to her. Equally on level with that embarrassment thing, at least she wasn’t fading from existence.  
“KP…?”  
“Hahaha… ha… hehe heh…hey… Pumpkin?” Shego, master of thieves, queen of all things green, black and spandex, looked down at the very still form of Kim. “Oi, Kimmie cakes?” Shego frowned and nudged Kim with her legs. No response. “Shit. Doofus pick her up and put her back on the seat.”  
Ron looked up.   
“NOW.” 

He picked the limp and unblinking form of Kim half off the floor, whilst Shego shifted and pushed with her free limbs to help her up.   
“Urgh, this is not working. Untie my hands and I’ll help you, you little weirdo.”  
“Hah. No way. I may not be smart but I’m not a complete idiot.” Ron grunted and shifted himself to an area Kim would have preferred remained untouched right now.   
“Hey! Monkey boy! Watch your drifting hands.”  
“Huh? Oh?” His hands flung back and Kim fell forward again, this time to be stopped by green and black legs.  
“How does Kim even function with you around?” Ron, who was now blushing heatedly at having touched Kims boobs accidently, shrugged at Shego. “Untie me and I’ll help you, without groping Kims tits.”  
“No way Shego. You’ll probably escape and then Kim will kill me.” Kim agreed silently at that statement, she would kill him. She would also maim him for copping a feel. And maybe thank Shego for getting him to stop.  
“Then just free my one hand.”  
“But I can’t do that without freeing both your hands first. So no.”   
“ss… uhh…” Kim felt her mouth move, then her feet twitch and all the numbness disappeared as quickly as it arrived.  
“KP?”

Kim was still draped uncomfortably over Shegos legs.  
“I said, shut up.”  
“KP! You’re okay!”   
Kim pushed herself up from the awkward position and glared at Ron, then Shego.  
“That’s the worst I’ve seen happen to you. Maybe we should go back to GJ, get you checked out. Didn’t they offer like an operation to fix it?”  
“Ron. Shut. Up.”  
“…k….”  
She stood up, rolled her shoulders and sat back down next to Shego.  
“Are we nearly there Joe? Wherever there is.”  
Joe, who had been silently wishing he didn’t own such a large bus, looked back at the odd looking group.  
“Uhh… yeah. Five minutes and we should be at the location Wade provided on the GPS.”  
“Good.” Kim pursed her lips, refusing to acknowledge either Ron or Shego.

The rest of the five minutes passed in excruciating silence. Eventually they arrived at a dingy, abandoned looking house in the middle of nowhere.  
“You sure this is the right place?” Ron looked around at the vast emptiness surrounding them.  
“Yep. It’s the exact location on the GPS.” Joe smiled politely from the driver’s seat. “Well, I’ve got to get going. Long trek back. Bye.” With that he shut the door and left them in the dust. 

Kim took out the Kimmunicator.  
“Hey Wade. Where did you spleen us?”  
“One of my own personal bunkers. I use it to store untested equipment the GJ don’t want or don’t know about. It also doubles as a safe house and nuclear fallout shelter. Just encase.”  
“One of?”  
“Nuclear?”  
“Who the heck is this kid. Geeze.”  
“Anyway, this is going to act as home base until we sort out Kims little problem.”  
Ron looked at Kim then at Shego, Shego looked at the naked mole rat then at Kim, Kim looked at Wade then the house.  
“Uh, that may take a whale. There are no blue finned tunas anymore.”  
“What Kim means is,” Shego interrupted looking at the boy genius on the other side of the screen, “No blue prints. So can I go home now? I have a breakfast date at ten and I’d like to get some beauty rest.”  
“Yeah and we can’t stay here for long anyways Wade. I need my nachos.”

“Oh, sorry I forgot to mention it. There are a series of tunnels looping from my safe houses to other points around the continent. This one you’re at now is the closest and unfortunately the motorized carts need to be manually started up. For some reason the remote control option I built in failed, which is really interesting actually. I think it has something to do with the fact that the polarized segments I created are-”  
“WADE!”  
“Oh sorry. Well anyway. You can go to and from here to work in secret.”  
“What do we do with Shego?”  
“And two hours each way?”  
“Well, the house has very secure measures to keep her inside while you’re away, and the carts move at over 300mph along a series of tracks.”  
“Whoa.”  
“Hey, you can’t leave me here!”

“We don’t have blue fins!”  
“Don’t worry Kim, as long as we have Shego we have a way. So you better get settled so long, I’ve set up a false vacation time for you and Ron for two days and your parents will think both of you are on missions. Everything’s sorted.”  
“Uh thanks Wade.”  
“Is this really an hours’ worth of planning?”  
“I am not staying here. And you can’t make-” An electrical current coursed through Shego’s veins, forcing her once more into a dreamless sleep.  
“Built in taser gun.”  
“Ooo… I want one.”  
“Ron you’d probably electrocute yourself every day.”  
“True.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shego isn't always nasty. How on earth did Wade build that place?

The first thing Shego saw when her eyes no longer swam in the black has of tazer land, was a poster for Everlot. Her first thought went along the lines of, I don’t remember my password for my account and ow my face hurts.  
She shifted and blinked. The ceiling above her a plain creamy white, the walls on one side a soft peach with hardened plastic on the other sealing her in…  
“HEY!” She sat up quickly her hands no longer bound. “Why the fuck am I in a plastic box!”  
“It’s not plastic. It’s a unique polymer blend of my own creation; made to withstand excessive heat, cold and almost any tremendous force, also it’s extremely affordable and environment friendly. I call it P.A.D.E. Polymer Advancement Detaining Experiment.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry, why am I stuck in this stupid acronym?!”  
“Hey, I worked hard on it.”

Shego got up from the bed she had been tossed onto and stalked towards the not-plastic. Her rage boiled over, igniting her inside in that familiar way. Her fist clenched and-  
“...uh...”  
Nothing. No flame, no spark, no extra boost of strength. Just a plain old leather clad fist. A very angry and confused fist with a Shego attached.  
“Power dampener. New and improved.” Kim Possible scooted into view on a wheeled office chair, with a very smug smile. “How about that, Shingles.”  
Shegos’ eyes narrowed.  
“Pumpkin, when I get out of here,-”  
“If.”  
“WHEN I get out of here, you’re gonna wish I had the decency to kill you quick.”  
“Haha. Shego looks like a pissed zoo animal!” Ron walked into view with an arm full of snacks, equally as smug as Kim, which aggravated Shego to a new level. She leapt forward slamming the not-plastic with all her un-superhuman might, a throaty deep scream following it. Ron shrieked and dropped his snacks. Shego took his smug smile and wore it like a badge for the rest of the day. Kim just sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Right, so now that everybody knows what’s what let’s get on with it.” The red head watched Ron fumble with his snacks as she spoke. “Wade?”  
“Yep?” His on screen face looked a bit offended at having his acronym insulted.  
“We need to fix the transport, how do we do that?”  
“Well its actually just as simple as flipping a switch. The rest of it I can do on my side.”  
“Ron you think you can handle it?”  
“Hmm...” two snack packs fell from his hands as he looked up at Kim. “Yeah, I can flip a switch.”  
“You sure about that monkey boy?”  
“Mass your teeth Shingles.”  
“What?”  
“You need to SKYUP!!”  
“I think Kims’ telling you to be quiet. Weird.” He frowned as he looked at Kims’ irate face. “You were talking fine a second ago.”  
“OMG Tom! Go dip the rice!”   
“Uh... yeah I’ll just go flip the switch... Where is this switch?”  
“Just follow the flashing LED lights.” Wades image flickered for a split second. “I have digital maps for the bunker and a few printed on the walls, just in case you get lost.”  
“Geeze Wade how big is this place?”  
“Big enough.”  
Ron looked up at the skirting of the ceiling. Instead of a solid colour it was made of possibly the same not-plastic as Shegos’ holding area and illuminated and pulsed in the direction Ron had to follow.   
“Oh wow Rufus, check it out. Disco lights.”  
Wade disappeared from his screen mumbling something about his mother and food.

“God. Kimmie cakes. Your boyfriends a complete moron.” Shego watched Ron leave, so entranced with the lights he walked into a wall.  
“Not. My. Boyfriend.” Kim hissed slowly through her teeth, then swivelled around to view a digital map on the control panel in front of her.  
“Okay then. But he is a moron.”  
Kim didn’t reply to that statement. Instead she just smirked quietly and examined the layout before her. The place was huge. It consisted of the control room/makeshift easy to build holding cell, a huge hallway going down levels (five if she counted correctly), emergency elevators that could possibly hold a car, regular elevators, a whole bunch of storage rooms, a few bedrooms, two bathrooms for each floor, a lounge, a cafeteria (who builds a cafeteria in a safe house?), underground garage (which was right next to the cart tunnels), a recreation room, three places where the map stated ‘in progress’ and a very large lab. The whole thing was laid out in the most ridiculous way, like a kid with a crayon drawing his dream home. This couldn’t have been nearer to the truth as Wade had designed this place when he was five and decided to keep the schematics, for nostalgic reasons.  
Wade had also assured her that security and comfort wouldn’t be an issue, as he was busy booting up his army of Wade-Bots to run this... whatever you’d call this place.

In all honesty Kim couldn’t care less about all of this. She just wanted to get back to being Kim Possible, crime fighter, hero, butt kicker, cheerleader and above average school goer. All this extra nonsense was just annoying, and now she had to baby sit Shego on top of all everything.  
She felt the tingle of numbness spread again as her worry and panic at the situation increased.  
“Stupid ray.” She mumbled as she slid out of her chair and crumpled to the floor. “Urgh.” At least she could move her mouth this time.  
“Whoa. That looks super uncomfortable.”  
Kim was facing the underside of the control panel, but she could imagine the arrogant look on Shegos’ face.  
“If you let me out I’ll help you up?”  
“No.”  
“Hey don’t be mad at me for Dr Ds’ crazy experiments.”  
“Zip tits.”  
“Potty mouth.”  
“Frak you.”  
“OOoo, some ones a sci-fi nerd.”  
“Ass dingle face.”  
“That one is pretty good actually. I might use it on monkey boy.”  
“...”  
“So... you gonna wait till Stoppable comes back to help you?”  
“Yeah.”  
“And possibly grope you again?”  
“...”  
“You’re totally considering letting me out now.”  
“...”  
“Well, at least I get a decent view. Have you been working out Kimmie?”  
“...”  
“Your gluteus maximus is looking very well defined.”  
Kim thanked the heavens above that her face was hidden, as it burned brightly and with such intensity she swore she could see steam.  
“Have you gone mute again too?”  
“...no...”

There were a few minutes of silence before Shego spoke up again.  
“You’re okay though right?”  
Kim sighed heavily.  
“Not really.”  
“If... If I can help... you know with the blue prints to the machine I will. I’ll,” she air quoted “cooperate.”  
“What?”  
“Don’t get me wrong and all, but watching floppy Kim is kind of sad.”  
“Are you going soft Shingles?”  
“Ha, you wish cupcake. I just don’t like cells, or beating up inferior beings, like Stoppable and floppy Kim. I mean where’s the challenge in that? Where’s the fun?”  
“We’re not going let you out if you help.”  
“Oh I know, I only ask to be handed over to the GJ so I can make my grand escape. When all this is over of course.”  
“Sure.”  
Shego looked around her, taking in the sparse amount of items and clear lack of bathroom.   
“Could I at least get a better room? With ablution facilities perhaps?”  
“Maybe.”

“Hey where’s Kim?” Wade had returned looking flustered with broccoli pieces between his teeth.  
Shego pointed down towards the control panel. Wade made a few typing noises to find a camera to see her.  
“Oh crap. Hey Kim you okay? Should I call Ron back to help?”  
“No”  
“No!”  
Both Shego and Kim shouted in response.  
“Maybe just get Wade, Wade-Bots Wade? If Wade don’t mind Wade. Wade. Urgh.”  
Wade arched his eyebrow and typed quickly again.  
“There, not all of them a booted up yet but one of them should be there soon.”  
“Thank Wade.”  
“Umm? Pleasure?”


	6. Confuso-Ray this one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shego seems to be sane. Or is she? *dramatic music*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if there are errors do say.

Half an hour later, Kim sat back in her wheelie chair after an eventful Wade-Bot intervention that will never be spoken or thought about ever again.  
“So, it seems Ron got distracted and is now playing Metal of Discord in the recreation room.”  
“Did he at least pull the lever?”  
“Yes he did.”  
“Wow... he managed to complete a simple task... Amazing.”  
“Shego.”  
“What it’s not like he hasn’t failed at the simplest of things before... you know... like breathing.”  
Silence met Shegos’ comment as both Wade and Kim knew that to be true.  
“Anyway, I’ve started with repairs to the tubes network systems and so far the diagnostics look good. It should be done in about...” Wade squinted at a monitor off screen, “four hours-ish.”  
“Ish?”  
“Uhh... yeah I forgot that I haven’t actually updated anything in here for a really long time, so I’m doing anything and everything now. Which is why it’s not an exact time frame.”  
“So... then I can leave in five hours then?” Shego frowned at the monitor from her prison.  
“No. It means that Kim and Ron will have the option to go home if they so wish. Although moving you from here to one of the more equipped rooms, might take some time.”  
“You said you put in leave time for us at GJ? Wouldn’t going beans sooner mean red pen suspect?”  
“Uh? Yes? That question confuses me. But yeah leaving sooner would raise their suspicions, especially if they start seeing you in two place at once.”  
“Huh?”  
Wade grinned widely as he explained to his captive audience, somewhat literal on both parts, about how he had worked a self sustaining image manipulator into the G.J. main frame. When both Shego and Kim questioned this he went into more detail than necessary and used up forty five minutes of his planned four-ish hours to do repairs.  
“So in conclusion, this S.S.I.M, will project a false image directly into G.J. monitoring devices, tricking them into believing you and Ron are both at your respective homes doing what it is you would normally do whilst not alerting your parents to your unplanned absence. This would mean if you where spotted elsewhere before I could shut it off they would realize there system has been hacked.”  
“....”  
“Oh.”  
A soft snore could be heard from behind Kim.  
“Is Shego sleeping?”  
“She looks... cute toaster.”  
“Huh?”  
“Peas-full.” Kim hissed through her teeth glad Shego had passed out and not heard the word cute and her name in the same sentence.  
“Oh yes. She seems nicer when she isn’t hurling fire ball plasma things at you and Ron.”  
Kim just nodded in agreement and sighed as Wade continued talking or explaining, she wasn’t sure which. Today, or tonight or whenever it was, was going to be long boring and a pain in her ass. Ron wasn’t going to be much help unless she could get him to focus, Wade was taking the opportunity to talk to his hearts content without fear of interruption due to her weariness to open her own mouth and Shego... well she was Shego and so far she might be the most cooperative and on point person surrounding her today. And that was saying a lot. Like A lot a lot.  
Eventually after a few more minutes of trying to understand what the screen was saying and ignoring the appealing noises of sleep behind her, she worked up the nerve to get things in motion.

“Wade.”  
“Yes Kim?”  
“As informative as this... has been, maybe you could call Ron and we could at least get settled a bit better... or at least I could go sleep or something?”  
“Oh sure. Hold on one second.”  
Wades Image disappeared for a few seconds then reappeared.  
“Uh... he seems to have passed out on the couch. I’m going to directly control the Wade-Bot and get him up. It might take a bit.”  
“That’s fine.”  
The Bot who had been standing quietly in the corner until now, sprung to life and wheeled out, shouting “I’ll try to be quick” as it disappeared following the still flashing led lights.  
Kim let out another large sigh. If anything positive could be said about this day, it would be her ability to breathe seemed to be working just great.  
“My good sweet baby pickles and their best friend Julie, I thought he would never shut up.”  
Kim demonstrated her good breathing again.  
“Hey don’t give me that princess, I’m not the one who was trying to talk your ears off.”  
“Oh the small miracles. Joy.” Kim rolled her eyes and swivelled to face the green thief... who was now not inside the bad acronym cell.  
“What the f-?”  
“Now now.” Shego held her hands up and lit them as Kim jumped up into her fighting stance. “No need swear.”  
“How the wreck did you get open air theatre?”  
“I’m amazing and brilliant at what I do Kimmie cakes, you should really know this by now.”  
“Well... you’re going dip guilloche!”  
“I’d love to see that technique. Sounds creative.”  
“Urgh. Waltzing wombats Shingles!”  
Shego let out a laugh as Kim charged. Then tripped.  
Face planting herself behind Shego.  
“AAArrrghhh.” Kim screamed with frustration into the solid mass, again unable to move. She heard light footsteps halt beside her, and then felt warm hands gently pick her up.  
“Seriously Kim, I said I would co-operate. But on my terms, which involve a room with an en suite and not a plastic cell.”  
Shego gingerly placed Kim back into the swivel chair.  
“So don’t go stressing out again princess. I promise I’ll be good. Well close enough to it in any case.”  
“Oh... okay...” Kim averted her eyes from the sincere smile on her face. “Thanks.”  
“Now, let’s get some grub before Monkey boy eats everything, I’m starving.”  
“Uhmm...” Kim tried to indicate with her head that she was still incapable of going anywhere, but Shego seemed to be ahead of her in that department.  
“Listen, we have four options. Number one we wait out the floppy. Two I somehow strap you to this chair and we go find the nitwits. Three I sling you over my shoulder and we go look for the nitwits. Four I carry you bridal style and we go find the nitwits, your choice.”  
“Uhmm... I honestly... don’t know.”  
Shego nodded. “Option three it is then. If you want me to put you down just say, put me down or however you might end up saying it.”  
With that Kim was hoisted up and over Shegos’ shoulders with minimal effort and a slight grunt.  
“Now don’t go copping a feel while your back there princess.”  
And with that she started down the passage way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anybody notice the reference to Emperor’s New Groove? Because it happened.


	7. Confuso-Ray Din Dins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ron Sleeps, Shego speaks, Wade he ran away.  
> Kims A cake, her fails not fake and food is what she craves.
> 
> Butts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My chapter summary may or may not be accurate... who knows.

The silence that followed, if one could describe accurately, would be avoidance. Avoidance in the sense that they avoided mentioning they were rivals, avoided bringing up the fact that Shego was being… nice and Kim avoiding looking at Shegos’ ass because that was literally where her face was, well in the vicinity in any case.  
“So… do you cluedo direction house?” Kim questioned.  
“Hmmm… well seeing as that sentence kinda makes sense, I’m going to answer with, yes. I know where we are going. I observed stealthily the layout while Nerd boy was talking, because I’m awesome.” She grinned at her own statement and carried on strolling down the passage way. “Also the flashing lights help.”  
“Right.”  
“You’re not losing your smarts are you Kimmie?”  
“What? NO! I gif swat am shallow pancake butt.”  
Shego scrunched up in thought.  
“You’re looking at my butt aren’t you princess.”  
“BUTTS WRONG TURN FACE ME!”  
“Stop looking at my butt.”  
“Urgghhh… SHINGLES!!”  
“Joking. This is way too easy, yet amusing.”  
Kim huffed and blushed, then avoided eye butt contact. The tingle of feeling crept slowly back up Kim’s body as the walk continued.  
“You can put me down now Shego…” Kim’s voice was small and tired.  
“You sure?”  
“…yeah…”  
“Okay. Here.” Shego, again as gently as before set Kim down. After giving Kim a once over they began their walk again. “You sure you good? I can carry you till we get there?”  
“I’ll be fine.” Kim looked forward with a sullen expression. This whole deal was becoming very tiresome, all she wanted was some food, maybe a bath or shower and some sleep. They walked on, the flashing L.E.D lights above continued to dance about to some weird techno tune nobody could hear. Occasionally Kim would sigh or exhale loudly and Shego would glance at her sideways.  
“I think we’re close.”  
“Hmmm?” Kim looked up from watching her feet to look at Shego, when she heard what unmistakably was Ron, shouting at the Wade-Bot.  
“YOU DON’T JUST LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE WITH SHEGO WADE!!”  
“I’m sorry! I didn’t think she would be able to escape!”  
“Come on hurry we have to rescue Kim!” With that last sentence two figures, one a computer with wheels and arms the other… well Ron shaped, came hurtling down a tight corner and collided with Shego.  
Both machine and boy went tumbling. Shego simply looked down and sneered.  
“Watch where you’re running doofus.”  
“SHEGO!” With that Ron jumped up and attempted his best martial arts pose. “Where’s Ki- Oh hey Kim.”  
Ron waved awkwardly at Kim who partially stood behind Shego.  
“You okay?”  
“Yeah.” Kim shuffled self-consciously.  
“Uhh guys… could you help me up. I think the arms are no longer functioning.” The Wade-Bot flopped comically about.  
“Found the nitwits, princess.”  
*************  
A pleasant aroma wafted from the cafeteria, as Kim sat beside a snoring Ron and Rufus. Wade had disappeared an hour ago after almost face planting into his collection of screens from exhaustion. The bot itself stood like a silent sentinel one table down.  
Shego had taken to the kitchen after discovering a well stocked freezer and pantry of none perishable goods. She had been cooking for the last two hours while whistling some show tunes Kim recognized, Kim had offered to help but the offer was quickly shut down when Shego noticed how Ron cringed at the mention of Kim in the kitchen.  
“Bon appetite!”  
A plate, neatly packed with some delicious looking vegetables, golden brown chicken strips, drizzled with what looked like a honey mustard sauce, was slid in front of Kim.  
“Oh… whoa…” Kims mouth watered.  
“I know it’s not breakfast foods, but seeing as its, what…” Shego turned to look at the digital clock on the wall. “Three in the morning… we can get away with eating supper.”  
Kim had already shovelled two chicken pieces and a tasty carrot in her mouth when Shego was done talking.  
“Hungry much princess?”  
Kim nodded enthusiastically and continued to chew and swallow, making satisfied noises of pleasure as she went. Shego joined in on the eating, making less noise but still enjoying her meal none the less. All the while Ron snored, which was a bit surprising as Ron normally came back from the dead for food.  
“This… is delicious Shego.” Kims mouth was full but she still managed to speak without dropping anything.  
“It’s delicious cause you’re famished. It’s also delicious cause I’m amazing.”  
Kim laugh snorted at this. Shego smirked. They continued eating in companionable silence till Kim basically licked the plate clean.  
“There’s more in the kitchen if you need.”  
“Oh gosh, no thanks. Anymore and I’ll roll away.” Kim smiled and got up collecting her and Shegos’ plates and utensils.  
After putting them down in the kitchen, Kim turned back to see Shego staring oddly at her with a tilt to her head.  
“What?”  
“I’m just surprised you didn’t check the food for poison or something.”  
“Did you poison it?”  
“No.”  
Kim shrugged. “Well then so not the drama.”  
“Well yeah… but I mean you didn’t even think twice… you just… inhaled.”  
“Shego… We may be enemies with a weird truce thing right now, but I know I can trust you… for the most part in any case.”  
“Ditto, cupcake.”  
“Could you not?”  
“What?” Shego tilted her head again.  
“The nicknames, could you not do that.”  
Shego grinned widely and lifted her arms in a shrug worthy of an Oscar. “I could, but where’s the fun in that Red?”  
“Hmm…”  
Shego stood up and stretched, she gave a quick look at the prone form of Ron. “Is he going to be fine like that for the rest of the morning?” She pointed at him.  
Kim just rolled her eyes, “He’ll be fine. He’s slept in worse places and positions… I’m kind of jealous actually. He just throws himself down and passes out; I take ages to pass out.”  
“Oh… lucky bastard.” Shego turned to face Kim. “You know you haven’t had a floppy attack for awhile, and you’ve been speaking… normally.”  
Kim waved off Shegos’ statement. “Don’t jinx it Shingles.”  
“Shingles?”  
“Don’t worry, that one was all me.”  
“Wasn’t worried cupcake.” Shego paused. “So… sleep?”  
Kim shook her head, “I was thinking more along the lines of shower then sleep, but you can pass out wherever you want.”  
Shego shrugged. “Shower sounds good.”


	8. Confuso-Ray wash away the awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a shower scene here... and its.... not sexy at all... Lol... hopes n dreams shattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seem to be on a roll here. Yay go me. Also... I am probably failing at editing.

Shego, as in normal Shego fashion, had ulterior motives. Now before one could say, no duh or wink-wink nudge-nudge and take the meaning of her motives out of context, let the context be explained.  
Number one: Yes, Shego was a master thief, a villain of epic proportion, basically a smooth criminal to quote Michael Jackson. She was not, however, a heartless twat who would kick someone when they were down. And Kimberly Anne Possible was as down as one could down, at the moment.

Number two: Yes, Kim was the rival. And would continue to be her rival till one of them kicked the bucket and even then Shego swore Kim would still be top dog on that list, but even rivals could put things aside for a short while and “help” each other out for the greater good.

Number three: The greater good was not in fact all that good. Because the good, as Shego thought of it, was, ‘I want to defeat little miss perfect at the top of her game, not when she happens to be a sad faced puppy that falls over its own feet.’ So the greater good was Shegos selfish desire, but heck, people were always selfish about something.

Number four: Yes this did have everything to do with Shego hovering by the door in only a towel, peaking in and watching Kim shower. Yes, it did! What if Kim fell and went floppy and drowned in a puddle, and as ridiculous as it might sound, the chances of that happening where way up there. 

Shego rechecked her mental excuse list again for about the zillionth time. She had left the water running in the bathroom next door so Kim wouldn’t get suspicious. SO the moment princess shut the water off she would zip back get herself wet… urgh.  
“…everything just seems perverted…” Shego chastised herself and closed her eyes again; counting to twenty slowly so nobody could say she was being perverted by continuously staring. Why the heck did she have to have such a big heart… well not a big big heart, but like a regular sized one that occasionally cared about stuff?  
Shego opened her eyes and trained her pupils to just look past Kim to the shower post. Thing is something was missing from her line of sight. There was no Kim silhouette. Green eyes darted about in their limited capacity, but saw nothing.  
“…shit…” Shego took a deep breath “Okay… okay don’t panic… just give her like ten seconds… then knock…” Shego counted to ten then knocked.   
Nothing.  
She knocked again, this time adding a medium vocal of Kims name.  
Nothing.  
She began to panic. Thoughts of explaining that Kim died in a shallow shower puddle began to whirr madly about her mind.  
She gave one louder knock with a shout of Kims name. 

Still nothing.

“Okay that’s it!” Shego pulverised the lock with plasma and threw the door open into the steamy room. No shriek of surprise or offended hollers met her ears, just the sound of water cascading loudly onto the tiled floor.  
“KIM!” Shego slid the shower door open to find a naked figure huddled in the corner… snoring. “Seriously…”

Kim had at some point sat down in the short count to twenty and promptly fell into a deep sleep, much to Shegos’ annoyance and a good deal later, Kims’ embarrassment.   
The green skinned villain dragged her hands down her face, then shut off the water, grabbed a surprisingly soft towel and folded it around Kim while picking her up.  
“You’re worse than a drunk frat girl at a rave Kimmy Cakes.”

*******  
Kim woke up warm and awkwardly wrapped in a towel and comforter she had no recollection of getting into. Her clothes from last night where bundled onto the dresser beside her, even her underwear…  
“Oh my G… I’m naked…”  
“Yes… yes you are.”  
“SHINGLES!”  
Shego sat up on the opposite bed, looking like death warmed over and then eaten only to be regurgitated with hair.   
“What-”  
“Eh… no… no, don’t have a hissy fit. You passed out in the shower, I brought you here, and then I passed out over here, the end…” Shego blinked a few times then fell back down on her pillow. “g’night.”   
Kim sat up slowly clutching the materials to her chest, a few soft puffs of air coming from the bed across from her made her believe Shego had in fact passed out again. She quickly and quietly got dressed then sprinted to the door and fled the room as if her head were on fire. Which it might as well had been with how warm her face had become.  
“Fish fish fish fish fish…” Kim speed walked down the passage way, her face reaching new heights of red, she knew if she didn’t calm down right now she would be sprawled out in the passageway for Ron, or Wade the Bot, or… Shego… “fish fish fish fish…”  
She ran straight into a dazed looking Ron.  
“Hey KP. There any grub?”  
“What… yes… kitchen… shingles… chicken…. Good.”  
“Ohhkay… cool. Thanks…. Where is Shego?”  
“Sleep… room.”  
“You feeling okay KP? You look a bit… uhh… weird?”  
“Fishstick… fish… fine…” Kim walked onwards towards what she hoped was the lounge area so she could possibly have another episode on a comfortable surface rather than the floor.


	9. Chapter 9 or Honduras a liar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long time in the waiting but I have not forgotten... so here for art more. Although a tad short.

It was just before noon, or noon adjacent as Shego enjoyed thinking of it, when she entered the common area to find a heated debate taking place between a large screen, Ron and a very frustrated looking Kim.  
“...you are not benching me Ron!”  
“Oh come on Kim this is like the third time in four hours you’ve... you know... gone weird and whatever.”  
“And so what?”  
“Rons right Kim, you’re kind of a... liability at the moment.” Wade hesitated at the word.  
“I. Am. Not. A. Damn. Lia..bil..ity... Wade....” Kim had begun to hiss slowly through her teeth, and if Shego was made of a lesser constitution, she may have backed away very slowly.  
“Kim.” Ron shifted uncomfortably on his seat.  
“What?”  
“I think it’s getting worse.”  
“Fudge you Tim! Honduras a liar. I’m juke box stressed.”  
“Sounds like a weird Electronic song.” Shego interrupted by jumping from the back of the couch onto the seat beside what she assumed was again a floppy Kim.  
“Shingles. Stay out of dishes.”

“Hey, you guys brought me here against my will cause you need my help.” She lifted her hands up. “So staying out of dishes is not an option, princess. Besides, monkey boy and techno wizard here are right. I mean, heck cupcake, I didn’t even know about your condition until yesterday, and I feel like an expert already at watching these floppy attacks happen.”  
Kim remained quiet. Her eyes shifted from Shego to Ron and then Wade.  
“Whatever.”  
“You know we’re right KP.”  
Kim remained quiet again. Every inch of her wanted to storm out shouting obscene things at them. But she couldn’t even twist her neck at the moment. She was useless, and she knew it. And maybe, just maybe Ron was right. It was getting worse. Throwing herself into finding a solution may not have been the best idea.

“Shego.”  
“Yes Red?”  
“Could you pleas-” Shego cut her off by scooping her up.  
“I think Kimmie just wants to sleep. Why don’t you to nitwits start thinking up some plans so long?” Wade and Rons eyes tracked Shego cradling the rag doll they called Kim. As soon as Shego had walked through the doors, Ron turned back to Wade.  
“You think it’s a good idea to have the mean green machine with us?”  
“With Kim the way she is, I honestly think Shego might be our best bet. Global Justice hasn’t even put up a tracking request to find an adequate solution for her condition. I mean aside from operating, and that’s a hell of a risk.”  
“Having Shego here is a hell of a risk.” Ron looked back towards the door.  
“A risk we have to bet on, Ron. Besides that, I think she cares, at least in her own way.” Wade frowned down at his computer. “We don’t have to trust her.”  
“Yeah I know. But we do need her.”  
Wade nodded in agreement.

“Hey Wade...” Ron scrunched his face in thought. “You think you could get in contact with Yori?”  
“Uh... yeah. I’m sure I can find a secure line for you to talk on. Any reason why?”  
“Well... It may not be a permanent solution but I think she might be able to help Kim.”  
“How so?”  
“Dude, Yori is the queen of Zen, and Kim is so not right now. Maybe she could, you know help give her a few techniques to calm her down when she’s feeling stressed?”  
“That’s actually an amazing idea Ron.”  
“Hey I do have a brain capable of thinking you know.”

 

Shego placed Kim on the bed then sat down beside her.  
“Thank you.” Kim kept her eyes closed, she didn’t trust her tear ducts right now and she’d be damned if she cried in front of her mortal enemy.  
“No worries Princess.”  
“Do...would you mind... leaving please?” Kim swallowed heavily and slowly opened her eyes for a quick look at Shego.  
“I’ll pretend to be offended for you sake Cupcake. Get some rest.” The green clad woman gave Kim a, what Kim assumed most likely be a condescending, pat on the leg and stood up. But, and this surprised Shego more so, was she was in fact offended; Just a very small amount, not even a smidge, but more than enough to notice. Her dismissal from Kim was... hurtful. She frowned angrily, shook her head and very quickly thought of some mischief to distract her from such un-Shego like thoughts.  
This mischief involved the cafeteria, and cooking food far too spicy for anyone other than herself, but hey a distraction was a distraction.

By the time Shego sauntered back into the common area, Ron and Wade had already made travel arrangements for Yori under the guise of meeting up with Ron and Kim for an impromptu holiday, as they assumed and were correct in believing the GJ kept tabs on the Yamanouchi.  
“So, Yori should be here in two days time. That should give me enough to make a new code for her in the S.S.I.M.”  
“The what now?”  
“No. Not that again.” Shego waved around her arms in hope to distract Wade from replying. “I’ll explain it later to gloop for brains, cause I do not want to hear that explanation again.”  
“But you were asleep when I was explaining it?” Wade pulled a face at being interrupted.  
“Yeah sure, let’s just all agree that I am particularly good at what I do and am capable of even fooling a genius. The end. So somebody want to tell me why we’re flying down a ninja?”  
“Well Ron actually thought Yori might be able to help keep Kim Zen, for a lack of a better term.” The genius boy still had a slightly upset look about his face. “As you may have noticed, the more aggravated or stressed Kim gets the more she... uhh flops out?”

Shego nodded.  
“Yeah, I noticed.” Looking over at the blonde she asked. “You think it‘ll work Stoppable?”  
“Well... I mean we could drug her but I kinda don’t think she’d like that.”  
“So...” The green skinned super thief sat down opposite Ron, folding arms. “Are we working on a plan to save Miss Possible?”  
Ron and Wade simultaneously bobbed their heads.


	10. Chapter 10 or Word of the Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody is a nosey nancy. Not that thats an actual thing but whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is something. Although its even shorter than the other one... :(

“I don’t think we should.”  
“And why is that Stoppable?”  
“She might try to go by herself or something. You know how she does her own thing, Wade. Tell her”  
Kim shifted slightly from her place behind the wall. She had already heard their plans, or what they could come up with so far.  
“You don’t need to tell me anything. She’s taken me on countless times without any clear back up from you lot. So I know.”  
Ron did that frantic Ron dance where it looked like he needed to pee.  
“Then you get it! Anything we come up with, should stick between the three of us...” He indicated between them, and then did an extra count on his hand, “four when Yori gets here.”

“I agree with Ron. Kims’ a bit hot headed when it comes to not being involved with the big plans. Avoiding telling her would lessen the chances of her getting into trouble while she’s helpless.”  
Kim heard a scoff.  
“Hah. I’m sorry, but Kimmie, even as she is now, is far from helpless.” Shego shrugged “She could probably whoop both your asses with her eye balls.”  
“Very funny Shego,” Straining to listen to a mumble which sounded a bit like ‘she probably could’, Kim smiled a little. “But she could get hurt if she tries to get involved.”  
“And who came up with the idea to start this spur-of-the-moment mission.”  
Wade and Ron looked at one another.  
“Ron.” They both replied.  
“What?” Shego looked surprised. “Ok... Never mind where I was going with that. I know I’m out voted on this island, but I don’t think keeping our plans from Kimmie-Cakes is gonna help either.”  
“Yeah well like you said... green bean, you’re outvoted.” 

Kims eyes went wide with surprise as Ron spoke, she even slapped her hands across her mouth to prevent any sort of sound coming out.  
“What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me. Monkey. Boy?”  
“....Uhhhhhh....” There was a yelp and a rather familiar sound followed by a flash of green.  
“AAAAAHHHHHHHHH...” was the word of the day as Ron sprinted out the common room down the hall right passed Kim without even noticing her. His pants smoking in the tell tale signs of Shegos’ powers.  
“GET BACK HERE STOPPABLE!!” Shego sprinted out, intent on following but stopped when she noticed Kim. She turned back to the common area before Wade could hit a panic alarm or follow the incident with his cameras, or weird T.V. robots.  
“Don’t worry, genius butt. I won’t pulverise the little worm... yet.”  
“Uhh... Oh... Okay... You sure?”  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m sure.” She waved her hands in annoyance. “I’m gonna go shower and sleep before I set something on fire.... And no being a perv... I’ll know.” Shego added the last part with a growl.  
Wade was quick to come up with an excuse to leave his monitor after that.  
Walking back to where Kim still stood, she paused and cocked her head to one side to view Kim in interest.  
“I did tell ‘em both it’s a bad idea to keep this from you Princess.” Kim looked down her hands dropping to the side.  
“Yeah, I heard.... Thanks.” She looked down at the off white tiles, wondering if now would be a good time for the earth to swallow her whole.  
“No need for thanks, and no need to look so... defeated.” Shego gave Kim a once over. “Doesn’t suit you.”  
“Sure... I’ll try.” The next thing Kim realised, Shego had her in a head lock. “Ack- What the fuck Shingles!!!”  
“I’m not a fan of this Kim.” Shego proceeded to give Kim’s red mane a good fluff up. “Your hairs real soft Red. Maybe you should get it insured or something, maybe do adverts for shampoo?” She stroked Kim’s hair a few more times before she got two punches in the side from the angry red head.  
“Ow...”  
“Don’t be a weirdo Shego.” Kim slipped out of the hold and glowered.  
“Ha. Pot calling kettle.... Hello.”  
“Shut up.”  
The raven haired mistress of all things criminal rubbed her side and smiled at the irate young woman before her.  
“That’s better.”  
“Huh?”  
“You’re not all sad and doe eyed no more.”  
“Whatever Shingles.” Kim grinned for a split second before she remembered to look angry.  
“Hmmm.. Hungry?”  
“Uhh... yeah sure?”  
“Come on then Cupcake... Rons’ gonna be MIA for awhile if you want to run over what we were discussing, and I hope you like spicy food.”  
“How spicy is spicy?”  
Shego frowned in reply. “Uhh... Maybe there’s cereal?”


	11. Chapter 11 or Why should she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is longer. Yay me.  
> And yay you.
> 
> Also if anyone wouldn't mind pointing out my missed steaks, I'd be ever so grateful.

Kim found herself gasping for air as she listened to Shego talk about her job interview for Dr Drakkens “assistant” as it was air quoted by green skinned fingers.   
A few guffaws and huffs of air escaped Kims lips as she tried to calm herself down.  
“-he never even saw it coming, the poor bastard. Blew it right up and went for a three hour tea break.” Shegos’ grin was wide and her hands moved with flourish and finesse as she made quick work of the good looking steak she found hiding in the back of the freezer.

A single tear escaped olive eyes.  
“Oh god Shego... How could you.” She smiled fully as she received another eye full of amazing kitchen skills.  
“Princess, if you had read that contract and all its fine print, you would’ve blown up something to.”  
“I’m surprised he even hired you after that.”  
“I didn’t give him much choice in the matter. Besides that, my resume spoke for its self.”  
“What? Did it say I’m awesome and really good at what I do?”  
“Nah. More along the lines of ‘hire-me-or-else-I’ll-blow-up-more-shit’.”  
“Haha... Oh god, you’re the worst employee ever.”  
“More like best ever.” 

Shegos smile was earnest and somewhat blinding, unfortunately before Kim could examine it more it fell from her face and was replaced by a glower as she looked past Kim.

“Uh... is it safe for me to be here?” Rons voice piped up from behind, causing a massive eye roll from the red head.  
“Yeah Ron, It’s safe.”  
“...for now...” Shego whispered into the air.  
Another eye roll from Kim.  
Ron shuffled into, the danger zone, just barely out of Shegos reach.  
“You look better KP.” He side eyed Shego, spicing the meat.  
“Yeah. I feel a bit better.”  
“You get some rest?”  
“No, not really.”  
“Miss Possible was playing spy.” Shego interrupted.  
“Shego!”  
“What. It’s not like he wouldn’t figure it out...” Shego paused and sneered at Ron. “eventually.”  
“Oh.” Ron rubbed his neck awkwardly. “You understand though... right KP? I mean, you’re not mad or anything right?”  
“Yeah I understand why.” Ron gave a small hopeful smile as Kim spoke. “But I’m still a bit upset.”  
“Right... yeah... sorry.” His smile faltered as he continued to rub his neck and look at the floor in a sheepish manner.  
“What’s life without some marital spats now and then huh?” Shego picked up a frying pan and added a dollop of butter.

Rons face went an amusing shade of pink and Kim just squinted away.  
“You guys like stir fry right?” Shego emptied a pack of vegetables stating Hawaiian stir fry mix on the sides, to a large looking stir fry pan.  
“Uhh yeah.” Kim bobbed her head.  
The colour that had been so bold on Rons’ face a second ago quickly disappeared at the thought of food, only to be replaced with some weird eyebrow thing and confusion.  
“What’s up with your face Ron?”   
“I’m just... confused KP.”  
“About what?”  
Shego continued to the stove which was a small way away from the opening she had been preparing the meat on.  
“Well... about...” He gesticulated towards Shego, who happened to be wearing an apron now that he noticed it. “That!”  
“What?” Kim looked in the direction he was flailing.  
“THAT!” He waved at Shego again who looked up at his shout.  
“The apron?”

“NO...yes..... KP.... Shego is standing in the kitchen, wearing an apron cooking us food, after trying to maim us yesterday and you don’t find it weird!?” He paused, wide eyes scanning Kims face. “Or maybe suspicious?” He stared at Shego again who had gone back to staring at the pan. “Or something!?”  
“I guess... It is a bit weird...” Kim furrowed up her eyebrows in thought.   
“A bit?” Ron flailed some more. “A BIT!!”   
“Ron calm down... Geeze...”  
“Holy Nacho! She’s your mortal enemy and you’re in here giggling and having a slumber party what if she tries to kill us in our sleep or poison us or something like that aren’t you even worried Kim did that thing mess with your sense of self preservation OHMYGAWD we’re trapped in an underground bunker with a psycho!!!”

Her mouth hung open uselessly at Rons’ outburst, watching as he tried not to collapse from not breathing and shouting at the same time.  
“Wow.” Shego shuffled the stir fry about. “I kinda feel like you might have been the one hit with that ray... seeing as it literally took you a day to piece all of the events leading up to now together. Like an entire life’s worth of information only caught up to you at this moment or some shit. We are underground with psycho.”

“Shego even agrees with me!”  
“Hey I’m not agreeing with you, not completely anyway. I mean yes I am Kimmies’ mortal enemy, obviously, however I’m not gonna go all American psycho and shout weird shit at the top of my lungs.” She pointed the spatula she was using at him. “But yeah Princess, your sense of self preservation does seem to be a bit out of sync.” She waved the spatula around then went back to stirring. “I mean I know you usually run into danger fists-a-blazing, but you don’t normally drag danger back home and let it cook for you. Unless you do?” She shrugged. “And Ron, in some ways I get your question, and you’re darn tooting right to be suspicious. Of course I have ulterior motives, I’m not a schmuck. But for now, I’m happy to cash in some vacation time even if it’s an unexpected abduction gone wrong, besides Kims well being is mine to destroy and mine only... not some fluke made by Dr D.”  
Ron by then seemed to have calmed down considerably.

“So you’re probably going to stab us in the back as soon as KPs’ better, right?”  
“Yep.”  
“Phew.” Ron wiped away the panic of sweat that had begun to accumulate on his forehead.  
“Phew?”  
“Yeah, phew.”  
“And here I thought Kimmie was the brave one out of the duo.” The raven head clucked her tongue in mock horror.  
“She is. She definitely is. I’m just... You know... happy to know what’s on the up n up.” Ron nodded at Kim like he expected her to understand.  
Shego agreed with a slight inclination of the head while she continued her food ministrations.  
“It’s nice being on the same page as everyone else for a change, and this whole situation kinda makes me feel like those world war two guys where they took a break from killing each other and celebrated Christmas together.”

Shego grunted. “You mean world war one, monkey brains. I thought you learnt stuff at school? Unless they changed the curriculum since I was a teen?”  
“I knew it was one of the world wars at least.”

“Yeah yeah bright spark.” Shego took the pan off the stove and picked up the one containing butter and left it to heat. She wiped her un-gloved hands on the apron as she approached the counter the meat lay on. “You’re awfully quiet princess. Are you having a floppy mouth moment?”  
Kim just stared between her best friend and her so called mortal enemy. She had no words for their interaction and she honestly couldn’t think up any reason as to why she would be so put out by Shegos’ dismissive attitude and the fact she still wanted to be the one to take her down. Yes okay, so it had only been a day so far, but heck, Shego had been downright ...saintly!

Maybe her incessant desire to believe everyone capable of change and good had been clouding her judgment, skewing up how readily she had been willing to trust her.  
So she just nodded, even though she knew damn well she wasn’t having an episode.  
“Oh damn. It was going so well too.” Shego gave her a half smile in sympathy.  
Kim just nodded and mirrored it back.  
“Well anyway, steak won’t take long to do,” She said while carrying the meat laden tray to the now sizzling pan, “so if one of you would be so kind as to grab some plates, that’d be smashing...” Shego looked back at Kim. “You think you’ll be able to eat, Red?”  
Kim nodded then shrugged, her mind doing some weird inconsistent babbling as she tried to figure out Shegos’ ulterior motives. Did she believe that Shego was truly so obsessed in defeating her that she’d help fix her, just to break her again.

Yes.

Yes she would. Kim looked down, avoiding having to look at Shego and Ron. God, how could she still be so naive? So stupid really. Shego was a selfish being with little to no regard for anyone else unless it directly influenced her. Kim repeated that sentence as the food went through its final prep. She repeated it when she sat down to eat, she repeated as she smiled and nodded as Shego retold her story to Ron. She broke down the sentence structure and highlighted the important parts as the clock struck seven and Ron offered to make coffee. The words played ping pong and danced the Macarena when Wade finally came back in the form of a T.V. robot announcing he had fixed everything and Kim and Ron could leave tomorrow if they needed to.

Does not care.

Shego snidely hinted at requiring a change of clothes and ordered Wade to get her a Club Banana catalogue if he expected her to remain a cooperative abductee. 

Selfish.

Ron left to go play Metal of Discord with Rufus, after the little mole rat had finally returned from his own explorations of the bunker. 

Naive.

The green skinned thief lazily stood up and announced that she required cleaning, and after asking Kim if she was all right or could talk yet (for the fifth time) she left her alone. Kim sat in the silence of the cafeteria wondering why, if Shego didn’t care, why should she?


	12. Chapter 12-That time when Yori was sweet and then it just went down hill.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says most of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there. Long time no update. How dare I.
> 
> I don’t think I need to put up warnings or anything. But just in case those of a sensitive disposition dislike it, there are a lot synonyms’ for nudity here. well not a lot, just like a few or as many as I could find.

Kim, was miserable, even more so than the normal, or the new normal. Whatever. She was just beyond the word and her current situation, which involved her sitting on the floor of her shared room, crossed legged and inhaling large amounts of oxygen. While Yuri, who had arrived at the crack of dawn as if by magic, insisted she breathe more.

"Kim." Yori gave the red head a sympathetic look. " You need to breathe."  
"I am breathing Yori. If I wasn't breathing I'd be dead." The scowl following that statement led Yori to inhale deeply.  
"I had believed Stoppable-san to be the difficult of the two. But I see I was mistaken in my belief. Do you not wish for some semblance of control Possible-san?"   
Kim rolled her eyes. Of course she wanted to not turn into a pile of blubber every time she felt a little anxiety about something, but this was just ridiculous. And besides that she wasn't feeling it right now.   
She huffed and gave her the appropriate answer, something mildly positive laced with sarcasm. Which might have turned into a grumble or a mumble, Yori wasn't exactly sure but she wasn't about to reprimand Kim any more, due to what she believed to be a delicate situation.  
"Now again; Clear your thoughts and breathe in deeply from the center of your mind and exhale slowly from the belly."   
Yori closed her eyes and attempted to lead by example. A calm she only found through centered meditation began to creep its way up her body, before it was absolutely ruined by a loud shrieking and another dramatic sigh from Kim.  
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU MONKEYBOY!!"  
"I said it was an accident She-ahhhhhhhhhhh...."   
They heard a few pounding noises followed by an unsettling silence that led to Yori rising gracefully, and Kim just sighing but getting up as well. 

"Ron-san, I have asked you to please observe peace during this time as I attempt to teach Kim." Yori had reached the threshold and stepped out to face whatever spectacle Ron had managed to create. "And Shego I understand the ne-... Oh."  
"What's going on ove- ...Oh." Kim stepped up beside Yori, both females eyes popping in surprise.  
Both these things, the statement and bodily reaction, may have been the best understatements of the century. But as far as what to else to say at the site before them, oh seemed to be the most appropriate, well sort of anyway. Short notice and all that jazz.  
Ron lay unconscious in a heap on the floor; his clothes freshly baked, and over done with a hint of charcoal, Rufus standing beside his face, repeatedly slapping him in a vain attempt to wake him from this premature slumber. But this was only accountable for at least thirty five percent of the surprise.  
It was what towered over him, glowering with her green eyes, her muscles taught and ready to pulverize should he so much as twitch. Her black hair dripping wet and her body steaming from the shower she had recently evacuated. 

Also, as a side note to be noted, there was a lot of steaming flesh in her nude form. Not that “anyone” was taking note of her nakedness.   
In the buff, bare of all clothing, not a towel in sight, butt nekkid, disrobed, void of all clothing articles, happy birthday suit, starker’s wearing only a grin and literally, we repeat once more, steaming.   
Yori repeated her oh and turned around, and Kim, she will swear to all that is possibly holy, unholy, mythical, scientific, her grandma, grandpa and everything one could possibly think of to swear on, that she was going to do the same. Promise.   
But she didn't. 

"uhhhhhhh.....?" Kim shifted, Shego looked up. There was that smirk and it all went to heck in a hand basket of delightful fruit.  
This was to say Kim froze in her position, as she felt that annoyingly timed skin prickle, from the souls of her feet to the tip top of her skull, with one hell of a body blush to boot. Then the world began to suck her down towards the floor in slow motion. 

Now, let’s have a quick think. Kim is falling to the floor, she’s blushing like there’s never ever going to be a tomorrow, Yuri has turned around in respect for Shegos’ modesty and not attuned to Kims’ floppy nature, Ron is out for the count, Rufus may be super intelligent but he’s still just a mole rat, Wade is not available for comment (at least Kim silently prays he’s not) and Shego is mooning the passageway behind her. And you’re only allowed one guess as to who Kim desperately wants to come to her rescuing. If you guessed Shego… you are absolutely… incorrect.

Yes that’s right folks. Incorrect. But if you guessed absolutely nobody or maybe Kims self then you’d receive a gold star for correctness. 

Kim, to a greatest extent of her ability, wished with all her might that either A) she be allowed to drop face first onto the floor and be left there to rot or B) Gets over this stupid nonsense floppy shit, woman the fuck up and stop herself. But noooooo, option C) the one where massive amounts of confusion towards own feelings, embarrassment to the power of Pi and boobs in face were the one life circled then ticked and underlined for good measure.   
If it were possible she would force herself to die, there and then. Maybe it was, she was a Possible after all.  
“Gosh Kimmy cakes, if I knew me being naked would cause you to lose your shit I would’ve used this method to defeat you a long time ago.” Shego adjusted Kim so the red heads super blushing face was no longer tucked between her cleavage. “Yo ninja lass.” Yori turned around and cocked an eyebrow in shock at the newest form of surprise in front of her. She let the name calling slide as she deemed this more important than defending her skills. There would be time for that later.  
“Yes Go-kun?” Shego grimaced at the butchery of her name.  
“Could you take little miss floppy to her room while I go finish what that meat head over there interrupted?”  
“Which is?”  
If Shego had been willing to think it, she would assume Yori meant something less innocent by the tone of the statement. She squinted her eyes as she spoke to the ninja.  
“Shower. I was showering and doofus over there waltzes in and see’s me in all my glory. Which everybody has witnessed now.” She huffed as she pulled Kim to her shoulders. “I didn’t even get to do my hair yet.” 

“Ah, yes. Cleanliness is a pathway to good health.” Yori nodded and bent down to hall Kim up. “I shall take her to her room then, we shall continue our lesson when she has recovered. Perhaps after you have showered and dressed yourself we could talk?”  
“About what?” Shego stood up; swiping at her knee to remove the reddish mark it had gotten from her sliding in to save Kim.  
Yori gave no answer save for a raise of her eyebrow and a look that pointedly looked from Shego to the redhead dangling awkwardly in her arms. Without waiting for any further comment from the still naked green skinned woman, she walked off.  
“Weirdo.” Shego mumbled to herself, looked back at Ron, scowled then went back to take care of her hair.

Yori had placed Kim on Shegos’ bed, and now sat on the edge contemplating.   
“Possible-san…” Kim internally sighed as Yori began to speak. She was certain some sort of lecture on how to center herself was about to happen. Goodie and she couldn’t even complain.

“Kim.” Yori began again, seemingly settling on a less formal course of speech. “Before I had arrived, I was given reading material from Wade; he told me it was all concerning your condition. It had the medical tests, your scores and so on up until you left for this place.” She gestured to the room they sat in. “So I understand that you are fully aware of your surroundings but are merely unable to interact. You are essentially trapped in your own body.” She looked at Kim, empathy oozed out of her eyes and made Kim feel horribly awkward. 

“It must be awful, and I cannot truly understand how you feel, but we are all here for you.” She paused; her voice took on a slightly lower register as she spoke again. “Even the green skinned one. Much to my own surprise.”

Kim felt the blush, which had subsided to some extent, come back in full force. The tingles on the base of her skull made her want to vomit.

“There were also a view observation notes.” Yori continued, blatantly ignoring the clear signs of embarrassment. “These observations stated how your condition reacted to your surroundings and interactions. It is very clear that your body reacts badly to stress and panic, which is why I believe the techniques I wish to impart on you are so very important for you to learn.”

Aaannnnd here comes the lecture. Kim thought of ways to escape, unfortunately all of them involved moving.

“The other thing I have noted, and this is in line with the testaments from Ron and most recently Wade. Your condition has worsened, and I believe it is in no part the fault of the device, the initial symptoms yes of course, but that of… Shego.”

No wait, she was supposed to be talking about centering oneself and shit. 

“Ron had made a passing comment to me on how since you have been interacting with the thief you have gotten worse. I do not believe he has come to the same conclusion I have. He believes her being here is a great deal of stress. Wade has made a similar assumption in his personal notes.”

Of course Shego was a stress to her. The snarky femme fatal could find the buttons to annoy a damned care bear!

“Even your own notes on Shego have aided to my suspicions.”

Wait what… what hey… Shhhhhh… stop with the talking. There are no notes. 

“In one such report, I believe it was two weeks before the incident, you had a run in with her and the blue one. Two things stood out to me.”

How quickly does this girl research, geeze. 

“You mentioned how much of an upper hand you had had in that fight, quite flippantly I must add. Although she was not arrested that day by you or any member of any police force, you went on to note it seemed she was having an off day. That in itself is an odd thing to write especially considering you could have apprehended her but you did not.”

That’s not weird; you are supposed to be detailed in those reports. Besides even villains are allowed an off day. If Kim could scoff now she would.

“The report continued as you would expect it, then you somehow mentioned how nice her hair smelt, stating she must have used a new shampoo.”

Details are important dammit.

“Kim. I realize that confronting you in such a manner is not welcome by any means. But you are very good at avoiding punches and awkward conversations.” She smiled at her own wit. “After your incident, speaking about Shego seemed to… ummm… bring up some interesting if not inappropriate words. Which I believe stems from your subconscious.” She paused again and took a deep breath. 

God damn her and her breathing and her comments that may have been leading somewhere Kim was not happy to visit right now.

“Kim, I believe you… you may have… feelings her… for Shego, that are not entirely appropriate considering both your positions as… essentially hero and villain. Whether or not you are attracted to other females is of no consequence to me or any other for that fact, but I do believe that it would be best if you were able to move past your infatuation with her. Best for your condition to, that is why you must try with earnest when we attempt the techniques again. I shall convey some methods I have come across now, as I have your undivided attention. First we…” Yuris’ voice tapered off into the background as Kims mind did a three sixty.

If it she could slap Yori now she would be more than willing to do so. Fuck that, she would knee her in the face and laugh. How dare she waltz in here, claiming to know anything about how she felt about anything and then sit there and give a damned lecture to a very much unwilling participant. Of course she had feelings for Shego; she respected her and found her to be a decent human being she wouldn’t mind knowing on a personal level. Like friendship. Of course she recognized Shego as good looking. You would have to be a slime blob with no higher level intelligence to not admit that. But really, jumping from I think you have the hots’ for Shego to full blown lesbianism was just ridiculous, by anybodies standards. Closeted or not.

And she was still fucking talking.


End file.
